Are you sexually involved with one of your friends on a casual basis, and you’re starting to worry that it’s not going to end well? Are you worried that he’s developing feelings for you, or worse, that you’re starting to fall for him when he doesn’t feel the same way? Friends with benefits situations can be risky territory, and it can lead to heartbreak and ruining a friendship that is otherwise fine.
When you find yourself in this situation, you have to evaluate your options. Is the sex really so good that it’s worth all the complications that it can cause? Are you willing to potentially lose a good friend just because you two got hot and heavy? Are you ready to get your heart broken if you have feelings for him and he doesn’t feel anything for you? You’re probably answering no to all of these questions, and that’s your first sign that you need to get out of this relationship before it goes south.
There is one advantage to being in a casual sex relationship with a friend: at least you both started out as friends! This means it should be a little easier to communicate with him and end the relationship amicably. You’re both adults, after all. Try sitting him down and explaining your concerns to him. Tell him that you don’t want to lose the friendship over a little hanky-panky. He may be resistant at first (because who doesn’t like a good roll in the hay?), but you have to be strong and hold your ground. Let him know that he means a lot more to you as a friend than as a sex partner, and that you feel it would be in both of your best interest if you just called it quits before things escalate.
If he’s not listening, explain to him that you’re looking for something more serious and that you’d rather have a real relationship with another man who may come along any day. Tell him that he’s limiting his options, as well, by spending time in your bed. It doesn’t need to turn into a big fight and feelings don’t necessarily need to get hurt if you two can both remain calm and discuss the situations like the adults that you are. The sooner you end the sexual relationship, the sooner the two of you can get back to being friends. It will take time, but it’s worth it.